Memory is very tricky thing. You remember all the details you want to after several years and forget the names of people you have recently met. How does that happen?
Well all that you want to remember or you felt too strongly, is etched in your mind. Most of the times because you do the revision. Strangely I remember my first day of school when I was 3.5 yrs old . Why? Because I was scared that my parents are not coming back to pick me up. Whereas my memory has blocked the biggest trauma of my life, because it’s not something I can handle.
Human mind is designed in a way to naturally support your emotions. If you love someone you will remember all the good things about them, revise kindest things they have done for you several times. Similarly, you remember the betrayal of the ones you have decided to hate. Memory is never complete, it deletes, distorts and generalizes before it stores it.
Another tricky thing that human mind does in absolutely no time is to relate to all such memories before you react. Hence your reaction to any situation is accumulation of all those memories. That would explain the meltdowns over small incident, anger bomb over a small comment. Now you know the reason behind all the unreasonable behaviors.
Your memories are subconsciously driving all your reactions, fears, decisions every day. So it’s very important to manage your memories.
How to manage memory?
Access your childhood memories, your hurt memories and take a rational look at it.
Remove any generalization like, everyone is selfish or bad things happen to me.
Look at that event as an adult, in totality as just one stand-alone event and store it back.
Changing the emotion around a memory is like editing the content and changing filename in your computer .
This memory bank is like a big wall in your home. Decorate it with the beautiful things in your life. And when you look at that wall you will be inspired to create more good memories in future. You will have good Memory Balance, more valuable than your bank balance.