There is a long journey between understanding and acceptance. Understanding is done by the mind but acceptance is emotional. Acceptance is difficult when it goes against the plans we have worked hard for. We lean on denial so that we can hold on to that idea, those plans for a little longer and delay the pain.
Self-acceptance is even more difficult. It’s difficult to witness your own emotions and accept them without judgment. There is a constant need to be a hero of your own story. In today’s time, where a positive mindset is more acceptable, feelings like jealousy, frustration, anger, anxiousness, greed, desperation are judged too harshly. So, you quickly tell yourself the lie and push it away, hide under the carpet till those unresolved emotions start to hurt you.
Just imagine if you have more complex emotions which are stigmatized in our society like a secret crush on a married person, unacceptable sexuality, any other desires you are not supposed to have. You already know that it’s unacceptable so denial is the easiest escape.
You need to understand that unresolved emotions will always hurt. Denial won’t help to resolve. It will convert the hurt into confusion, shame, regret, or guilt. Living with unacceptable emotions is like you are visiting a relative’s place where you feel you have to behave in a certain way all the time so that you are not judged. But how long can you live in your own body like that?
Denial will feel good like instant gratification. Ignoring your desires sometimes gives you a false sense of heroism, Wow What self-control. But facing the truth, and dealing with it is the real strength.
Accepting yourself is the most important step you can take in the right direction, towards peace and fulfillment. There are different ways of doing it, write it down take it out of your system, talk to a counselor/coach, or a non-judgmental safe person. Once it’s out in open you can see it more clearly, and take the right steps. You will be surprised at how many alternative solutions you will encounter once you speak up. Help is available all around, it’s just a matter of taking the first step. Yes it takes time, efforts and courage, but it’s better than living in misery.
Remember, you don’t need to punish yourself for feeling a certain way. Accept every part of you as that is what makes you unique and beautiful.